Thursday, January 15, 2009

A Holocaust?


Reading one of my pain-in-the-butt whiners today, he compared what's going on in our business with the Meryl Streep-introducing movie "Holocaust." Man, if only Tovah Feldshuh worked here. THAT would be cool. I'd give 4 of our 5 Ryan Seacrests for that!

What? You thought there was only one Ryan Seacrest? LOL!

Listen up, Kings of Comedy, there are FIVE Ryans. Did you really think one guy could do all that stuff? Host American Idle, be the next Dick Clark (who, Ryan gives weekly blood transfusions to, keeping the Dickster alive, by the way), do AT40, a radio show on KIIS-FM and syndicate a show to little towns like East Christ-It's-Cold-Here, North Dakota?

There are 5, Clive. 5 smiling, messy hair, boyish grin robo-talent scoop of goodness Ryans. We call them Ryan 1, Ryan 2, Ryan 3, Ryan 4 and (for some odd reason) Ryan Q. The one on American Idle is Ryan 3, who is actually the tallest, but also the gassiest, and that's one of the reason he and Simon don't get along. Paula was dating Ryans 2 and Q for awhile, but that kind of petered out.

Anyway, back to the "Holocaust" thing. Look, I'm not sure why Jerry picked THAT particular Meryl Streep vehicle to describe radio. I think a more appropriate comparison would be "The French Lieutenants Woman," "Kramer vs. Kramer" or better yet, "Falling in Love," because I really like Bob De Niro, especially when he's in one of his meatier roles, like Boris Badinoff in "Rocky and Bullwinkle."

But "Holocaust?" Nah. We're a funny company, and that's not a funny movie. It's all about men wearing hats, lots of boots, and talking with a funny accent that isn't at all like Texas.

"Falling in Love." That's what we're all about. Yep.